


43

by MintAqua



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mafia Jian Yi, Mild Language, One Shot, Post-Time Skip, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-22 21:36:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13773072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MintAqua/pseuds/MintAqua
Summary: About a month after his return, somebody attacks Jian Yi on the way home from school.





	43

**Author's Note:**

> My take on the context for page 43 of 19 Days. This is hopefully just the first of many ZhanYi drabbles/fics I'm going to write; I was hoping my first would be a bit more upbeat but I'm a little rusty so I decided to start with this idea, since it's short and sweet. Hope you guys like it.

About a month after his return, somebody attacks Jian Yi on the way home from school.

They do a decent job of trailing and cornering him at the playground down the street from his apartment complex; they aren’t subtle about it, but that’s probably the point. It’s supposed to intimidate him, that slow realization as the crowds thin and the same three men keep the exact same distance from him, the street lights flickering on under a darkening sky. The panic is supposed to set in at a slow boil, a steady transition from mild discomfort to paranoid self-doubt to outright distress. He’s supposed to be scared. He feels relieved.

There’s a vague familiarity in the way Jian Yi ducks the first punch and counters smoothly with an elbow to the gut. He’s easing back into old rhythms: swoop, kick, dodge, catch one fist and throw another. His father had drilled this stuff into his head for three years--drilled in that paranoid instinct, reminding him to be hyper-aware of everything anytime he was out. It feels good to have that paranoid instinct come true. It feels good to put this fucking constant fear to use.

All told, it takes about three minutes to dispose of them. The last guy slumps against him and bleeds on his last good shirt, after managing to land a blow on Jian Yi’s face. He’s pretty sure his nose is bleeding--it hurts like hell, but he’ll get over it.

Jian Yi is in the middle of brushing the mulch off his pants when he notices two small children half hiding behind the jungle gym. One of them hides behind the other with a wet face and trembling hands; the other one is shaking, too, but her fists are clenched and she’s standing straight, posing herself as a barrier between her friend and the violent strangers who so aggressively invaded their playspace. The observation gives him pause. It’s a little weird, thinking of himself that way. Seeing himself as a violent strange man.

When Jian Yi doesn’t immediately leave, the little girl hiding behind the braver one reaches out and holds her hand. She frowns tightly, like she’s concentrating on something, and the braver girl puffs out her chest, emboldened. A transfer of strength, he realizes.

Huh, he thinks, looking at their joined hands. Must be nice.

#

Jian Yi doesn’t really feel like himself when he arrives at Zhan Zheng Xi’s place. 

The door is already open when he gets there. Zhan Zheng Xi looks bewildered but not entirely surprised, like he somehow knew something serious had happened. Jian Yi doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t know what to say. He’s feeling more and more like that violent stranger type, the kind who can punch someone’s face until it’s unrecognizable. Even now, he sees Zhan Zheng Xi’s cautious stance and automatically calculates how much strength it would take just to knock him down and pin him to the ground with his wrists behind his back. Then he calculates exactly how he’d like to break his arm--where to start, what bones to break. Jian Yi thinks this because he can sense the inherent disrespect in the way Zhan Zheng Xi looks at him. People who have disrespected him or his father in the past three years have had a history of backstabbing him when he least expected it; people who disrespect him can’t be trusted, so people who disrespect him must be punished.

But then he comes a bit closer, and Zhan Zheng Xi looks at him with some suspicion. Not like he expects Jian Yi to break his arm, but more like he expects Jian Yi to say or do something stupid.

He comes even closer, and Zhan Zheng Xi flinches back. Not because he’s dodging a potential attack, but because he’s dodging some stupid attempt at a kiss.

He leans in close, and Zhan Zheng Xi stills. Not afraid, just processing.

He buries his face in Zhan Zheng Xi’s shoulder, and Zhan Zheng Xi lets him. Not out of obedience, but acceptance.

It doesn’t make him feel strong. It doesn’t have the same effect that it used to--no burst of joy, no butterflies, no electric thrill. On the contrary, he feels like a stupid teenager, bumbling and annoying and always stirring up his own uniquely weird brand of trouble. He feels like that weepy kid with the embarrassing flower makeup on, posing for a picture with his first friend.

Jian Yi clings to Zhan Zheng Xi. He cries. Finally, he feels like himself.


End file.
